"The heart is deceitful above all things." Jeremiah 17:9
When I joined the LDS church, I was in a temporary state of happiness. I wanted the Book of Mormon to be true, so as I was reading it, my heart told me it was true. I thought the church would give me what I thought I was missing in my life. Now I know I was wrong. My heart did deceive me. Since I have removed the veil, Christ is finally within my reach.
I never had a reason to pray to know if George Washington was really the first President of the United States. If that can be proven from 1789, then I know everything after 1789 can be proven. There is absolutely no need to pray about it to know if it is true. I'm looking at evidence and reason, not prayer.
LDS missionaries will continue to instruct investigators to pray to know if the church is true.
"But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed."
2 Corinthians 11:14
And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light."
In Joseph Smith's first vision, he saw an angel of light.
I will include a Book of Mormon scripture in which the devil is referred to as an angel of light.
2 Nehpi 9:9
And our spirits must have become like unto him, and we become devils, angels to a devil, to be shut out from the presence of our God, and to remain with the father of lies, in misery, like unto himself; yea, to that being who beguiled our first parents, who transformeth himself nigh unto an angel of light, and stirreth up the children of men unto secret combinations of murder and all manner of secret works of darkness.
Today I believe in loving with all my heart, just as God loves me. As a member, my heart was full of insincere love. I did not follow the most important Commandment, and it took me resigning from the LDS church to realize this about myself. Unfortunately, this is a part of the Mormon me I will never forget. I gave nothing unconditionally. Everything I did was for the church. I did nothing for myself or for God. I certainly did not love as God loves.
I Never Knew You
"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!'
So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.'"
Jesus Promises Another Helper
"If you love Me, keep My commandments.
Love Your Neighbor
Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.
1 John 1:6
If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.
1 John 2:4-6
He who says, "I know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him. He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.
1 John 4:20-21
Obedience by Faith
If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.
"that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."
1 Timothy 1:16
"However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life."
What do these verses mean? Do as you believe; love God and love each other! Those that love have fulfilled the law. These are the good works we need to do and that's all we need to do. Being rewarded by our works means are we loving others as He loves; even our enemies? As a member, I certainly did not obey this commandment.
I absolutely know how important the Commandments are, but the most important Commandment is Matthew 22:37-40. I believe this is what should be taught in church. For the seven years I was a member, these Commandments were not emphasized at all. My children need to be taught these things and that's exactly what we all need to hear over and over!
My unanswered question was:
Why did I follow a feeling from reading the Book of Mormon when I should have followed evidence, facts, and reason?
I was initially devastated when I received this answer that my heart is deceitful no matter how much I pray about something, yet overjoyed to find the truth that I can trust in God completely with the answer He has given me about the LDS church! I am so grateful I can finally offer genuine, unconditional love to all; especially my enemies!