Also see Posts "WHAT KNOW?" April 27 and "Mormons v. Mormon Church" May 2
This is a fairly new reason. I left the church in March 2010. I resigned in July 2010. I began my blog in March 2011. Everything was just fine when I was quiet about my journey out of the church. Everything was just fine as long as I did not discuss my decision to resign or my reasons. It was not until I began sharing my journey that I lost many of my mormon friends, and I now have very few left in my life. Those few still love me even though we disagree about the LDS church. Those few still love me even though I am openly stating my Reasons for resigning. Those few understand I had to resign in order to salvage my life and gain a personal relationship with Christ. I am actually surprised and grateful I still have a few LDS readers following my journey.
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Once I began blogging about my journey out of the church I have received lots of horrible comments as well as hate email. Before I began writing about my journey I had no enemies that I know of, and then...I decided to share my story. It is very upsetting that some have the requirement that you must be mormon or agree with mormonism in order to be their friend. It is becoming clear to me who has Christ in their life and heart and who does not. I am very sad by the way some have chosen to treat me through this entire ordeal. Do not get me wrong, I am happy they are happy and they believe they belong to the one true church. But don't tell me I am wrong or that I spent seven years in a lie or that you are sad for me. I am not wrong for me. I did not spend seven years in a lie. I was definitely, without a doubt a TBM (True Believing Mormon). There is absolutely no reason to be sad for me. Just be happy that I am finally happy!
bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.
I can categorize my LDS friends into two groups...true mormons and true friends who just happen to be mormon. Here are a few comments I have received from those I believe to be true mormons...
- I am not only much older than you, I am wiser.
- I have lost some respect for you.
- You have all the answers after just a few short years?
- I will respect your opinion on something like education or the virtues of living in Texas, but don't count on me respecting your opinion on issues of religion, because I've got years on you when it comes to that subject.
- I can't believe you would write something like this.
- What a load of crap.
- I don't believe you "resigned" from the LDS church, I believe you ran away.
- It's clear that your parents and siblings made it difficult for you, so you chose their good opinion of you over God, Jesus, your husband and your life with him and your children.
- I'm sure you have driven a huge wedge between you and Ken (and you don't care that you did) simply because you found that your parents' objection to your membership was too much for you to bear.
- I just feel sorry for you!
- It's clear to me that you are so far from the mark and chose this path for all the wrong reasons.
- It's [choosing the LDS church] not for me to find something that fits into my life choices and makes me feel good about myself the way I am.
- You say you're a Christian? Act like one.
- It's [the church] definitely NOT supposed to "give" us something; it's supposed to help us lose ourselves in what HE wants.
- You have made a very selfish and self-serving decision, and I would appreciate you not trying to make yourself feel better about it by trying to indict the LDS church and me along with it.
- I, unlike you, am not easily swayed by the fear-filled comments of the haters of this religion.
- Act like an adult. Take your pride, or whatever you have, in silence.
- I believe that you, and others who seek to pull others away from it [the church], only do it because they have taken the coward's way towards finding God...and that is to join a faith that says all you have to do is believe and you're saved. And because you are cowards, you want to bring everyone down to your level.
- You want to follow a religion that asks nothing of you in order to be worthy of His blessings, and you can go about living your selfish life as you please.
- This decision of yours is clearly drenched in bitterness, and no decision should be made when your heart is this bitter.
I still love all of these people with all my heart. In fact, I could say I love them more now since they have shared their true feelings towards me and have held nothing back. I pray for their pain and animosity to be washed away and their hearts to be filled with love and understanding.
You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself
And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'
* The law was set forth in negatives. Thou shalt have no other gods. Thou shalt not, thou shalt not. Jesus put it in a very positive way, just love God with all your heart, soul, mind, strength, love your neighbor as yourself. And this is the law. This is basically what the law is declaring, that we should have a loving relationship with God first; that is reflected in a loving relationship with fellow man. ~ Chuck Smith, Blue Letter Bible Commentaries
I was able to abide by the "thou shalt nots." It was the love commandment that I was not fulfilling as a mormon. Since resigning, I have unending love, and that is nothing for anyone to be sad or angry about.
If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," you do well;
Some still think I am writing to convince myself I have done the right thing. Some feel I am writing to try and prove them wrong. Both of these reasons are incorrect and I wish these people knew how wrong they are. I need absolutely no validation that I have done the right thing by resigning from a false church. Just take a moment to look into how many blogs or support groups there are from ex-mormons. Then compare that to how many blogs or support groups there are from ex-Baptists, ex-Methodists, or ex-Presbyterians; not too many. There is an overwhelming pattern here with people turning away from the mormon church and having to journal about their story. It is very sad that some people refuse to see the truth for what it really is. As far as trying to prove anyone wrong, I have no reason to do that. I have no reason to try and talk you out of your beliefs just as you should not tell me I am a coward or wrong for my beliefs, whatever they may be. This blog is for me and me alone to try to heal from the pain I have been through. If I can help just one other person by sharing what I have been through, then I have done what God has asked me to do. God did not ask me to try and "save people from mormonism." God has asked me to share my story for those who need to hear it; not for those who are attempting to chastise it.
A few others have decided to journal about their journey as well; I am not the only one. Here is one website with just a few other Former Mormon testimonies. The links take up the bottom half of the webpage.
Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother's way.
And here are a few comments from my true friends who just happen to be mormon...
- I can respect your decision, and I fully understand where you are coming from in this decision.
- Since I still consider you to be a friend, I wanted to understand where you are coming from. I am just trying to understand your view. Not promote confrontation. I hope that I have not offended you in any way by asking, that is not my intent. If it's none of my business, I accept that.
- I love you.
- Know that we love you!
- Love you guys.
- Good luck on your journey. I wish you all the best!
- We have never talked about your religious decision, but I will tell you I have always supported you in your decision.
- Please don't feel awkward around me because you aren't going to church anymore. I loved you before. I still do.
- I don't think less of you for your decision.
- Very proud of you for standing up for yourself!
- I hope your message box is being filled with some apologies.
- Y'all will continue to be some of our best friends despite any differences on faith.
- Obviously, what you choose to do is your choice, and I have no judgment towards you.
- I have not felt contention with you, just so you know.
- I don't think anyone should be involved in a religion that doesn't bring them happiness and closer to Christ.
- I'm sorry that you felt burdened and inadequate. That's definitely not how it should be.
- It is good that you've been lead to study the Bible more and pray more and lead you to have a closer relationship with Christ. That is so important.
- I saw your facebook and want you to know that I love you as a sister and am supportive of you regardless if I agree with how you feel about the mormon church.
- You have always been someone I have looked up to in the church and now out of the church!
- I share this in love, and I will respect your decisions and opinions regardless of the path you choose.
- I am sorry that anyone would have implied that this was easy for you, that is just obviously wrong.
- I have read your blog. It's exactly what you had told me when we talked.
- Hope things have gotten better.
- You and Ken have to make choices for yourself and your family.
- It's good also to follow the spirit...as you are doing.
- I still like and respect you as a human being.
- Thank you for being so honest with me.
- I do not want our relationship to change.
- You will always have a friend in me and thank you for sharing your story.
- I have the utmost respect for your decision, I value your opinions, and I will not stand in the way.
- Despite what will ever be said to you know this, you are a good Christian, a good mom, and a good friend, and I sure love and admire you.
- When I just read your most recent post, I felt a sense of love for you. I just want to give you a hug. Not because I think ill of you or anything like that, but I just have compassion on you for what you are going through. You said you are a lost soul looking for your path. I really hope you find what you're looking for. I do. Whether in or out of the church, I hope you find your peace.
- Let us know if there is anything we can do.
- Take care and know that I'm always here for you. Love you!
- I hope that you will find peace, and I hope that you will continue to leave your heart open to the spirit.
- This is simply your test.
- I do not know what others have said to you. I just wanted you to know that nothing has changed with me.
- I will be following your journey!
- I am always happy to discuss any of these items with you, and I would always do so in a manner that is respectful on elements of faith that you hold dear.
- I am sure this has been quite an ordeal for you. It seems that religion can get people in conflict real fast. It becomes this great debate (or argument) about who and what's right. That's exactly what I don't want to get into. People will feel threatened on both sides. I don't quite understand the contention but it does exist and is very tangible. As I'm sure you have felt recently.
- I am always willing to talk with you. Give me a call if you want.
- I agree with you about it being more important to be a disciple of Jesus Christ than anything else. My husband and I are always annoyed at some of the people who are "mormons" but not disciples of Jesus Christ.
- Everyone is free to choose and I understand that.
- As your friend, I hope that you find peace. I hope that you discover that you do not have to be perfect. I hope that you do not feel the need to 'measure up' to anyone else's standard but to be content with who you are. To be happy in your daily pursuits and to just be the best, and the only you! You have something wonderful to offer.
- I'm sorry about the negativity and all of the stress that was caused because of it. It's just not how it should be.
- I still think you are a wonderful person and still want to be your friend.
- I enjoy seeing your posts.
- I love you like a sister. You know that.
- Thank you for being honest with me.
- If you ever need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to, or someone to laugh with, you know I'm always here. I wish you happiness and peace and more happiness and more peace. Love you!
Thank you, friends, for your encouragement, love, and support! I love you all, and I am blessed to call you a friend!
My unanswered question was:
If mormons are Christians, then why are so many treating me in a non-Christian manner, saying hurtful words and telling me I am wrong?
I was initially devastated when I received this answer that no matter what "religion" someone claims to be, they might not ever be a true Christian; yet overjoyed to find the truth that my true friends will remain my true friends no matter what I believe or what information I share. My true friends will continue to love me through this difficult and painful journey.